Flying...

Ever since the surgery, and that terrible flight, standing the pain and the frustration, anger and loneliness, I can not help but feel sad every time I am on a plane...

It's like my mind has a scar so deep inside, no matter why I am travelling, no matter who I'm with, no matter where I am going... I cry.

I can not understand why, I am healthy, I feel no pain, I am not scared... but that same feeling hunts me down and finds me 23000 ft above the ground... and I feel lonely, so very lonely... and I miss everyone, my husband, my mother, and even harder to ignore, I miss my father... for 11 years I've missed him, so it's hard not to cry whenever I think of him.

They say time cures it all... well it doesn't if anything, time has made me miss him more, need him more, regret it more.

...en esta isla

Que coraje me da estar aquí. Sentada en el calor, cubierta de granos que me matan de comezón... y aparte tener que aguantar a estas personas groseras, confianzudas y abusivas. La princesa de Shrek, es una de sus tías, come hasta hartarse, se sirve ron a placer, se mete a bañar usando mi jabon, mi shampoo y deja el asiento del baño salpicado de orines... sin pedir permiso nunca de nada.
Ella no ayuda en la casa y pasa todo el día repitiendo como sapo, sin siqueira discuplarse de sus sonidos guturales... me da asco y rabia, pero mas que nada impotencia, yo la correría de la casa... pero no es mi asunto, no es mi tía... es de él... y él la aguanta...

Así que yo me jodo.

All I want

All the time we want stuff... every day we want something new, this world has made us feel we are lacking stuff... we need more, more every day.

But all I want... is to lay down by your side every night, to see your smile and hear your laugh, to share a hug, to wish you a good night... and in those days we don't have time to spend together, I want to meet you in my dreams, see your bright eyes waiting for me.

All I wish for is to have days full of happy moments, sharing a good conversation with an old friend, watching the little ones of the family grow and explore...

All I need is happy instants that make me smile when I go to sleep. All I need is some peace in my heart and my mind so I can fall asleep...

All I wish for you is to have the same I want for myself. Nothing more, nothing less.



...


I'd be lieing if I'd fihish this here, I can't lie, I do want more... I want a home where we can lay down side to side, and I want a job that can allow me not to worry about mayor things and I can use my time in being happy... and I've always wanted little feet walking through the house... someday, we will share all that joy with little people that's half you, half me... then, I will want nothing more for myself but everything in the world for those little feet.