I hate the days like today

I know you know what I mean, it's just that kind of days in which you feel blue... but you just can't understand why...

You feel sad and lonley, but you know, you are just sad and lonly cause you're the one who's making everyone apart, you want to create your own personal world, alone... but then, you realize you need someone inside that bubble with you, for company, for the laughs, for a gentle touch, or just... so you know you're not that alone.

And what if... in those days, you find that the one you realy want inside that bubble is so far away... in distance and in feelings, what if the one you want will never get to be by your side...?

so... is this just a bad dream? or have I just woken up to realize what everyone had told me, but I was so stubbern that didn't want to see it...

I hate... I just hate when I feel I have to punish myself, and I hate even more, how I feel after the punishment, cause I realize how ridiculous and stupid I've been to cause new scarves... or opening old ones.

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Maybe, it's not about him... maye it's not about me, maybe I only feel this way, cause after 5 years, it still hurts and getting rid of everything that reminds me of him... hurts like hell, but it's not my decision, it's her's...

how could she forget that it also afects us, it also afects me, whatever she decides doing, he was also part of me... I am part of him!

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and no... I don't care if no one gets it...